rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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