Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
