I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think my vagina is haunted
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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