I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
