If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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