Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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