Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
