She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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