I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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