Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
