i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
