how can u be prego again
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
