OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
two words...techno handjob
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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