Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize