Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
