What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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