I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Mom said you looked used
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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