i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
