You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I cut my penus on the lid.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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