Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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