That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
