i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
