I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
