If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize