i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
