So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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