So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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