ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize