Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Watching her eat just hurts me
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?