I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Just pee around me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.