I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."