Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
