I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I believe in your delicious
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
