I feel great
I just peed on a car
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂