I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
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he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this will be a night to untag.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
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you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.