girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So squirting runs in the family.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices