So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
