im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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