that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
