Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
