careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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