batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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