coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
