I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
