once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
