What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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