Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
