dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
