high people should be assigned attendants
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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