He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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