Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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