i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
