I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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