i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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