If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
