the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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