who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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