Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize