The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize