PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have fence marks all over my body
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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