I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize