I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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