on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
