best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
