Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
