I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
