You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
