Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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