Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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