You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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