Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize