waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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