she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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