i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
