Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize