Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
